The Story of the Back (Backstory, get it? :P )
For awhile now in TREK, we've been going through the different Love Languages. We divided up how everything was going to work, and among the top 3 leaders at the time we divided up who would speak on what. The lot fell to me to talk about Physical Touch, and since it's my second Love Language, I figured that that would work out pretty well.
At the most recent meeting, I spoke about this a little bit. Since it was the day before Easter, a lot of the people left the meeting early to go home and be with their families, so the group was quite a bit smaller. I had prepared a little shpeal for that talk, and I have edited that and posted it below. Without further ado, my expanded version of what I spoke on, last Saturday!
The (Kinda Mostly) Marriage Love Language
The 5 Love Languages (post 1, post 2) were designed with couples in mind, meaning that a lot of the love languages don't necessarily transfer over to friends, or groups very well. This love language is certainly the same way. Even though most of this love language cannot be expressed in TREK, some of them can.
For a person with this love language, love can be expressed in TONS of different ways, including but not limited to:
- Holding Hands,
- Kissing,
- Hugging,
- Back rubs,
- Pats on the back,
- Arm around shoulder,
- High fives,
- Handshakes,
- +Pretty much everything good involving touch
Most people would say that they want to feel secure, and loved. If your love language is Words of Affirmation, and someone that you do not trust gives you a compliment, it will not resonate as strongly as a compliment from someone that you trust. If you're love language is Quality Time, spending time with people that you distrust or don't like will be draining, wheres spending time with people that you know and love will energize you.
It is the same for someone with Physical Touch as their love language, if someone they don't trust is being touchy it will feel very violating and could be destructive to the friendship. For many, trust has to be earned BEFORE the channels between individuals can become synced enough to transfer love.
It Doesn't Have to be Big
“Love touches” require a little bit of thought, but don’t take much time. If this is not your primary love language and/or you
didn’t grow up in a “touching” family, learning to speak this language may take some time. Sitting close to each other as you watch
TV requires no additional time, but communicates your love loudly. Actually, sitting close ANYTIME. Sometimes, it's just the small things that let you know that they see you, have acknowledged you and have reached out mean the world. If that sounds tough, let me give an example of how
Imagine you are walking through a hallway, and a close friend that has this love language is talking with some friends. They see you, and you see that person, but you have stuff to do so you just keep walking. If you reach out and just touch that friend on the shoulder as you walk by, it can speak the world to him/her.
It sometimes can take more time, such as giving a hug, and even though it may seem often or annoying, try to remember that this is the language that they speak, and that they are trying to reach out to you.
For Me
Since examining how I handle this love language, I've figured that I've divided things into pretty much 5 groups:
• Strangers = Handshakes (possibly; no trust has been established, so it depends on my mood)
• Kinda Friends = Handshakes, high fives
• Kinda Friends = Handshakes, high fives
• Friends = Handshakes, high fives, hugs,
• Close Friends = Handshakes, hugs, playful teasing (poking, chasing, jokingly punching arms, etc)
• Relationship = Handshakes, hugs, playful teasing, holding hands, arms around shoulders, etc.
So, there you are! Hopefully now you know a lot more about me, and about this love language in general! Have a nice day! =)
