Love Languages (2)

Wait......again?

You may be wondering why I am doing another one of these posts, and you'd be completely just in that. I made a post about this back in May of last year, but that was over 6 months ago, and I think that I am entitled to make another one every once in awhile. Besides, I find it to be pretty stinking interesting, and I like learning about myself, so why not? =]

I covered a lot of the five love languages idea in part 1. So, the challenge here is to talk about the same subject in a different way. In part 2, I'm going to talk about my order of love languages and then delve a little bit into how I interact with others and the applicability of the whole thing.

With that, here we go!

1 - Words of Affirmation (Score: 11)

Words of Affirmation is definitely number 1 on my list. The quickest way to build me up is to say something nice about me, and the quickest way to tear me down is to say something unkind. I can be pretty sensitive sometimes, and I find that I can be down on myself because of this. In recent times, I have begun to realize exactly how important words are to me—if someone I admire or care for says something nice about me, this is 95% likely to define my day (and in some cases, my week.)

Words of affirmation I might give:

   • Compliment appearance (mostly guys, I'm tired of my chivalry being misinterpreted =P )

   • Tell someone that they are doing a good job.
   • Check in with someone who seems sad.
   • Offer some word of encouragement
   • Compliment someone's character

Words of affirmation I love to receive:

   • Compliment appearance/voice/humor/anything pretty much (goes a loooong way)
   • Compliment me on a task that I spent a lot of time on
   • Give me an encouraging word
   • Compliment character or decision

Avoid:

   • Harsh words
   • Excessive mocking
   • Unsing non-honoring language (Using non-honoring language makes me feel agitated)

2 - Physical Touch (Score: 9)

Ahhhh, this is a bit of a weird one to explain. This is really, really important to those that are close to me, but if you aren't close to me it feels like an invasion of my space. So, those that just come up and give me hugs all the time, it can get a little old. I just don't even know how to process it. I have a family member that always likes to give me hugs, and sometimes it's really, really nice. On the flip side, I tend to enjoy being free, and the limitation caused by all these hugs can get a bit old. And by a bit, I mean a lot. So, the hard part is finding a balance.

Physical touch I might give:

   • Hugs
   • High fives
   • Pats on the back
   • Handshakes (not very filling, but it's better than nothing)

Physical touch I love to receive:

   • Hugs (from those I admire or care for)
   • High fives
   • Pats on the back
   • Hand holding (obviously not with just anyone... =P)

Avoid:

   • Long hugs (if I don't need it)
   • Letting go of a hug (if I need it)
   • Sudden hugs

3 - Quality Time (Score: 7)

Used to be my first, but now it's my third. I looked back through a letter that I wrote a long time ago about quality time, and I noticed that most of my items that were about "Quality Time" were actually either Physical Touch or Words of Affirmation oriented. Looking back, I know why the quality time that I did receive was not as filling as it should have been. 

Quality time I might give:

   • Doing something meaningful with other people

   • Eating a meal together

   • Car rides with friends

   • Playing games with friends

Quality time I like to receive:

   • Doing something meaningful with people I admire or care for

   • Playing games with friends

4 - Gifts (Score: 2)

Always has been one of my lowest. It's about giving and receiving gifts. For me (and others in my family) it's not as much about the quantity as the quality. For instance, receiving something that was mentioned in passing would be more meaningful than receiving a bunch of random books or something. What's important is that the gift says: "Hey, I was thinking of you, so I got you this gift." What matters most is the heart from which it was given.

Because it's so low, I can't even think of gifts that I would give or receive. I'll write it up how I'd assume people with this love language would feel, (and as always) feel free to offer comments/constructive criticisms below.

Gifts that someone with this love language might like to give:

   • Something meaningful to the receiver

   • A home made thing that had time and effort put into it

Gifts that someone with this love language might like to receive:

   • Something meaningful to the receiver

   • A home made thing that had time and effort put into it

Avoid:

   • Last minute gifts

   • Meaningless gifts

5 - Acts of Service (Score: 1)

My absolute lowest. My mom's absolute highest. Obviously, this doesn't get me into any trouble whatsoever. =P Acts of Service is about making the load lighter, and going out of the way to do so. If a chore is to sweep the stairs, then sweeping the rooms adjacent to those would make anyone with this love language feel loved. As you may be able to tell, I learned a lot of this stuff through my mother, but some of it I have learned through a close friend of mine. He and my mom have demonstrated a lot of this language, and I've tried to pay attention. So, I think I have a better grasp of this than I do with gifts, and I might actually be pretty close to right on a lot of these.

Acts of Service that someone with this love language may like to do:

   • Take on (and complete) a large task

   • Use their skills in a group to do something that they are good at

   • Do a simple task for someone

Acts of Service that someone with this love language may like to receive:

   • Get food or drink for his person

   • Assistance with a task

   • Clear understanding of a job

   • The act of having a need anticipated and completed before this person can worry about it

Avoid:

   • Leaving this person with lots of extra work to do

   • Giving tasks without guidelines

   • Procrastination (on even your own tasks!)

Annnnnnnd, that's it!

For further reading on the love languages, check out this forum post. 

If you want to take the love languages assessment, follow this link.

Hope that you folks enjoyed it. I had a lot of fun writing it, (even if it took me 3+ hours and a nap to finish). I feel that it was worth it, and hopefully you did too. Feel free to leave your love languages in the comments below if you want! It'd be cool to know those. =)

Bye bye!