Board Games For Boring Days (3)—Fiasco

A Deviation
All of the past board games that I've reviewed are board games. This one will not be, but I figured that I'd include it in the board games name, because it's in that vein of games (played with friends, not a video game, etc.) So, without further ado, I present to you the Indie RPG known as...

Fiasco

It's a game of story building, betrayal and unexpected events. It's a bit difficult to explain, so I'll simply use that which is supplied on by Bully Pulpit (the publisher) on their site.

"Fiasco is inspired by cinematic tales of small time capers gone disastrously wrong – inspired by films like Blood Simple, Fargo, The Way of the Gun, Burn After Reading, and A Simple Plan. You’ll play ordinary people with powerful ambition and poor impulse control. There will be big dreams and flawed execution. It won’t go well for them, to put it mildly, and in the end it will probably all go south in a glorious heap of jealousy, murder, and recrimination. Lives and reputations will be lost, painful wisdom will be gained, and if you are really lucky, your guy just might end up back where he started."

So, what do you need to play it? Fortunately, not much:

•3-5 players
•4 dice per person, 2 light and 2 dark (light for good resolutions, dark for bad)
•A Fiasco Playset {free ones are offered on the site}
•A copy of the Fiasco Tilt Table and the Fiasco Aftermath Table {Gotta buy the book or PDF for this one}
•Something to write with and on (the game suggests index cards and pencils)
•90 minutes - 3 Hours

Things start out normally, but quickly get out of hand. It's a game of escalating stakes, shifty characters and strong motivation. Everything may not be related at the beginning, but by the end everyone is usually in a huge entangled web of events, from which they can neither escape each other or their fates.


Pros:
•Deep character development
•You can drag others down with you, to create hilariously tense moments
•A story is crafted in the time it takes to watch one unfold in a movie
•Requires lots of thinking
•Game progression is escalated and controlled by the players
•Easily changed to fit the players {There aren't imagination police, so why not?}
•Game doesn't slow down after the start of act 1
•Allows room for beautiful nuances
•Twistedly lighthearted

Cons:
•It only works if everyone is invested in it
•Can be derailed if someone just argues their way through everything
•Requires lots of consensus... lots.
•Best if the players are comfortable with each other, because some of the subject matter is heavy
•There is no winner. Everyone loses to some degree. (Not exactly a con, just something to note)
•Starting act 1 on the first game can feel intimidating

Final Thoughts:
Dude. Great game if you have awesome friends. Get the gang together, and play the heck out of this game! It's a fun time for all!

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I've also included some story from my first game. This is as I remember it, and some of the details are a bit fuzzy. If something wasn't right, well then, whoopsie. :P

It's setup so that people can just scroll by if they want, but if you'd like to read it, you should! It all started very normally, I was a community worker who just happened to drive a van full of weed in a small rural town...

Dehumanization of the Loved

A Quick Intro
This will involve a bit of a dive into my brain, just so you know. I was originally going to write about wisdom (maybe a future blog post) but I couldn't stop thinking about a certain quote. Recently I have gotten to the point of being myself again. I'm not depressed anymore, I mess around with people, and I generally just do stuff because its fun, not because I think I should.

Well, I read this quote yesterday, and I thought a lot of thoughts when I did.

“But remember, there are two ways to dehumanize someone: by dismissing them, and by idolizing them.” - David Wong

 I read that, and instantly I said, yeah, I agree with that. Then, I started to put the pieces together.

"by idolizing them"
Whoa. Boy.
Everyone has had that moment of being caught doing something they weren't supposed to do. Whether that was cheating, lying to someone's face and having them find out, or eating that cookie that you weren't supposed to, you've experienced this in some shape or form.

Well, this happens to me quite often. Especially with some of my close friends who can tell right away when something is up and call me on it.

I went on for months while I was in my relationship doing a lot of things wrong. I tried to never rock the boat, just took everything easy and made sure to follow the relationship outline of churchiness. People might look at that and think that I had a good plan in store, and I was being careful for both of our benefits.

Well, if I was honest with myself then I would have said something different.

She got the lead roles, was popular, funny, quirky and pretty, and yet she noticed me. Imagine being a fan at a concert and asking the lead singer if you can be up on stage with them. Now, picture them reaching down, grabbing your hand, and pulling you onstage. Imagine after that you joining that band and playing with them. That's essentially how I felt.

I was astonished that she would step off of her pedestal and talk to me, be my friend and be my girlfriend.

Here's the problem:
The pedestal was only in my mind.

She is a pretty normal person. I wouldn't say like everyone else, but she's not a goddess or an angel or something. I put her in that high place. I made her into what she was in my mind. You know what, I even showed how great of a boyfriend I could be (about 2 months before starting this relationship) when I quit video games! That's pretty noble, right?

Pfffttttt.

That was my excuse then, but I know better now. I was only getting rid of one god and putting another in its place. I was idolizing my girlfriend, plain and simple.

I put pictures of her on my phone as my background. Adorable, right?
Not really. That was just another way that I could worship her. Because of this idolization I lived in constant fear of of losing her.

Almost everything that I did then was for one of three reasons:
a. Because I worshiped her
b. Because I feared losing her, (because I worshiped her)
c. Because I genuinely had good intentions.

Unfortunately, it was most often for reason a or b. Looking back, it's hard to even believe that I had done what I did. I completely worshiped her. I treated the ground that she walked on as heavenly. I idolized her.

"by dismissing them"
There are some days where I feel that all of Tumblr has united itself against me—I go on Tumblr and everything relates to my life. Sometimes this is by some really deep quote. Other times, it's a picture of Bilbo.

Well last night, it was obviously the really deep quote, because I was drowned in thought (Oh gosh, I did a pun).

If you don't know my brain (thankfully most of you do not) then you should know that I have been doing some stuff lately that's not very helpful to a very damaged friendship. I have been completely ignoring one of my (previously) closest friends.
When she spoke, I took it to mean the worst that it could.
If she did something kind, I pondered at what's really going on.
If something super normal happens, I looked at it suspiciously.

These are all rather clever ways of dismissing her completely. I can be a nice guy sometimes, but sometimes I have the meanest of intentions.

This, on the other hand, is one of those times where I end up doing something mean because I failed to think through what I was doing before I did it. This attitude of "Act first, think later" is one of the things that I wish that I could change about myself—often in fact.

Anyway, back on point. I completely dismissed her. I dismissed her good intentions, and I dismissed her from my view of life completely. Gone, gone, gone.

This same person went from being my idol to being the dirt that I walked on, almost overnight. After the break up, I went through months of withdrawal. It's like the layers that I had plastered on myself were getting peeled off slowly, each one showing the mold and scars of the one below. And each layer hurt more than the last, and each layer had new gunk to pry off, and new surfaces to clean.

dehumanize someone

"deprive of positive human qualities."

Dehumanizing someone is the equivalent of stripping someone of their humanity. We are all human, and we are all to be loving towards one another. I not only went on one side of the extreme, but I immediately jumped to the opposite side.

But this person was completely un-human to me. Its only been recently that I have realized exactly how blessed I was to have her with me for that time.

I often wonder about turning back time. And I've asked myself:
"If I could go back in time, would I choose to skip that relationship?"
Well now I know my answer.

Not a chance.

And I'm sad that it has taken me this long to come to realize that. I'm sad that I can only now view her as the person that she is. I'm so grieved by this, because I have missed out on the opportunity to an amazing friendship.

God loves me, and he'll give me someone to cherish. And I will not make the same mistake again. I am still sad that I have done this, but there is no time machine to fix this.

Everyone has problems, and people are not it.

Love those that you are blessed with, but do not make them into something that they are not.
-Joshua

Recovery

Recovery Isn't Instant
No duh.
I still have nightmares from my breakup months ago. I still have this struggle and sadness within me. But it's not about the breakup, in fact, at all. It goes a lot deeper than that. I would say that I'm over my breakup, but I think that the idea of "getting over it" is over-rated, because every negative thing should be a learning experience—I don't want to view circumventing God as "getting over it", (but that's a different post for a different day.) I have battled the demons of "I screwed up the relationship" and "it's just a break" and "my ex is a total jerk" but there is something else inside that is stronger than those.

All of my life, I've been afraid of people leaving me. I've been afraid of family dying (especially parents), friends suddenly dying, and of my parent's divorcing.

So, a lot of my life has been lived in fear. Even if it is less so now, I still live some of my life in fear.



Back to my point
When I was in a romantic relationship I lived with this fear that she would leave me. I wasn't ever really sure why, and I wasn't sure why her leaving did what it did to me. But just the other day on the way home from I blurted out something that made me realize why this struggle is so intense, vibrant and real for me.

I am the type of person that goes for attention, but not in a way that pushes people away. People don't like to listen to complaining, so I don't complain. I act crazy and silly, and I talk a lot.

But people mistake the quantity of my words for the quality of who I am.

Few people take the time to really get to know me. I think that I suck the energy out of a lot of people (Sorry introverts! :P ) but some people overcome that and get to know, well, you know, me.

Austin, Benjamin, Caleb, Ellen, Faith, Gabriel, Grant, Jeremy, Joe, Kendrick, Marla, Michael, Mrs. Peters, Tessa, and my ex girlfriend all took the time to get to know me on a more personal level.

I may have missed a few, but those are the main ones, especially of late.

But only Jeremy, Tessa and my ex girlfriend had/took the time to know me inside and out, to know what makes me tick and how I think. It's amazing, having someone that knows what you're thinking without needing to say anything. Just explain through a hug. Just explain by asking for a chance to talk. Just explain by a facial expression.

It was wonderful to be that completely known by them.

So what I'm saying is...
I'm having a hard time typing this because I'm shaking all over. I'm having a hard time forming these words, because the pain that lives inside of me—that which I have ignored—is ugly. It's a monster. A snake head.

It wasn't hard for me to acknowledged that there are other fish in the sea. It isn't hard for me to let go of the reasons behind the breakup. It isn't (too) hard for me to forgive now.

But the reason why the sadness has existed and festered is because I fed it lies and kept its' strength up.

I told it that my girlfriend broke up with me because she saw who I was.
I told it that the reason why she broke up was that I wasn't good enough.
I told it that people don't get to know me as deeply as others because I lack depth.

Each of those were twisted truths, not blatant lies.
My girlfriend was my girlfriend because of who I was, and she broke up because of who I wasn't.
She broke up with me because we both were on the wrong track, I did the best that I knew how to.
People can be mean, but I am surrounded by good people. That list of people that took the time to know me has grown since initially writing the list. People love me.

And most importantly, God loves me.

God will never leave me.
Regardless of what I've done.
Regardless of who I am.
Regardless of the lies that I tell myself.
Regardless of my ex.
Regardless of how I feel about God.

I am loved despite what I've done.
I am loved because of who I am.
God has given me his truth, and that will set me free.
I don't have all of the answers, and I cannot understand everything.
God has made the choice to love me, unconditionally, uncontrollably and without limits.

In Conclusion
I am not yet recovered. I don't think it will come anytime soon, because my nights are still filled with grief, and my days are grey-scaled and have lost their vibrancy. Even though I am still sad, I've made a lot of progress. And when I look at where I've come from and who I am today, I feel so much better.

God has great amazing plans for me. He's told me that I will be a pillar, and I am ready to stand tall.

My Life Sometimes

I don't know what I'm doing, so here's some bleh, God. Please change that bleh or change my opinion.

-Josh

Pride and Arrogance

Arrogance, and pride are huge issues today! You see them, running throughout politics, throughout the media, throughout everywhere around you. It's such a sad world that we live in, with all of these arrogant and prideful people mucking about! If only someone with some sense would just step up to the plate!

Alright, as you can tell, I've got quite a bit of feeling involved in this. I am going to be looking at this partially sarcastically, but partially to let everyone know that this is a serious issue in the church.

Arrogant (ar·ro·gant)

   -having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities.

Pride /prīd/

   -a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.

I promise you, I'm preaching to myself also. With that in mind, let's dive in!

More Myers Briggs Stuff!

Part 2
Waaaay back in January I made a post about MBTI called: Myers Briggs Type Indicator in which I gave some details on the MBTI. Well, here I want to take an opportunity to dive a little bit more into the type indicator, and how you can determine your type fairly easily. This is also useful in determining what type a friend or relative may have. This will not always be right, because people act like who they aren't on occasion, and some people aren't comfortable being who they are. So keep that in mind.

Also, this will be for some different post, but Myers Briggs categorizes people too easily. As always, I would recommend going off of percentages rather than giving someone a four letter type. And know that you can always end up changing types, or finding out that some of your life is a bit of a facade, as I learned back when I switched from J to P.

Anyway, feel free to look at this list of both types to get a rough idea of what type you are and what percent you are of that type. Don't worry about what side of the list it's on, just write down a little mark somewhere to alert you of your choice. Maybe copy and paste this in a word processing program and put a little asterisk next to your choice. Don't worry about contradicting yourself sometimes (for instance, I like parties, but smaller groups.) For laughs and giggles, I've marked an asterisk next to my choices on this list. Whatever your choice is, remember to have fun! This isn't serious, it's just a way to better get an idea about why you do what you do. :)

{UPDATE: I retook this test on 1/13/14 and those answers are astericks surrounded by }

Enough talking, on to...
The Glorious List of "Gloriousness"

Things

Things of this world, are passing away...

That's the resounding anthem of the slightly cheesy 90's hip hop song "Things of This World" by dcTalk. The song's point is about how much we value the stupid (and important) things in life so much more than we should. It's way too easy to do. I mean, look at the following questions. How many of them fit in with your recent thoughts or feelings?

I love my friends.

I love my dog.

I love that movie that I watched the other day.

I love being crew chief.

I love the leadership position that I hold in my theater group.

How to Know if You Are Not Ready for A Relationship

Forward

I originally had written this in July, on the 7^th. This was roughly 3 weeks before my girlfriend and I took a break (and then I did some stuff that I really regret.) Crazy timing, and it makes this almost pretty weird to publish now. But at least I knew that I was thinking then, and I wasn't being blind. I don't want people to look at this as a "screw you" to my ex girlfriend, because that was not my intention when it was originally written, and neither is it my intention now. This will be a jump back to my brain of July 7^th, when I was happy as happy could be. Though I cannot speak for who I was in this post, I can say what and how I thought. And I think that this post reflects that. With that, let's go! 

 All my edited marks are put inside of these curly brackets ( { or } )

"How to Know if You Are Not Ready for A Relationship"

Passage, The Game

I'm a bit of a gamer
Not just that, I'm pretty knowledgeable about a LOT of games—even games that I have no interest in playing. And because of this, I was slightly surprised when I heard about Passage. With good games, the word usually gets out quite quickly, and so there aren't many that I need to do research on. There are a few notable exceptions of games that were not popular and I did have to do some research on, but for the most part, this is a category where I truly know my stuff.

But passage is something different
I'm rarely this emotionally affected by a game. I mean, I'm writing a blog post because of it, so that means that it must mean a lot to me, no? Just like most every game, you move around, accomplish your goal and finish. Unlike most every game, there are no enemies, there is no clear goal and the finish is something entirely unexpected.

It's 2D side scrolling game with only 4 inputs—Up, Down, Left and Right. And those do exactly what you'd think they'd do.

Riling Up The Joshster

It all started at 1:10 AM

Early this morning, a friend asked me an interesting question:

"What makes you angry?"

Well, I thought, "lots of things, let me make a list." So, I quickly listed four things that really irritate me. And I looked at that list and I was like, "yes, those all irritate me." Little did I realize that I had completely dodged the question.

Because anger goes much deeper than irritation, doesn't it? Some may ask of you:

"Why are you angry?"

The better question would be:

"What does this anger prompt you to do?"

Even Jesus Was Angry

In each gospel, Jesus enters the temple and he sees his father's house being completely disgraced. Jesus get's super ticked and does something that's pretty different from what we had seen Jesus do up until that point: he makes a huge point, by flipping tables and yelling at the leaders there.¹

Yeah, yeah, you've heard this story before, but have you really thought about it?

I'm in a production of Fiddler on the Roof right now, and there is a segment in which the Russians come in and disrupt a wedding ceremony and among other things, flip tables. It's a very emotional part of the story, and hearing that wood crash to the ground as they are flipped is humbling in a weird sort of way.

Now, imagine your picture of Jesus going about doing that. He's not having the sweetest of tones, he's mad. He walks up to a priest and says, "What are you doing?! You are a bunch of thieves in my father's home. How dare you?" He walks over and throws the table upside down. He uses his foot to kick another one. He's not just getting attention, he is making a point. And he righteously uses that anger to make that point.

My Response Was Nothing but a Quick Dodge

I'm just going to quote exactly my conversation:

"1 - When people don't hold a respect for the rules.

2 - People who hold others down, limiting their true potential in order to make a system easier to control.

3 - People who don't hold true to their word. (This bugs me more than it should, people change all the time)

4 - Seeing people who cannot defend themselves being hurt."

While all of these things may irritate me (quite a bit actually) I realize that I cannot blame troubles on those around me. I can place blame so easily. "It's all Larissa's fault", "it's all my parent's fault", "it's all God's fault."

Or just as bad...

"It's all my fault."

Each and every one of these is very, very destructive. Nothing has been solved thinking this way. I've only locked the feeling deep down inside of me and let it fester. And when something festers, when it comes out, it's not just a pure sadness, it's been mixed with anger, disappointment, and fear.

What Anger Has Caused Me to Do

Anger is nothing without a rein on it. Anger is self destructive until you turn that into your own tool with which you will do battle for the greater good. I'd say this, but I think that Aristotle says it more beautifully than I could:

"Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy."²

 I thought about each of these a lot more since then. I have specified where it wasn't before, and here is the updated list of things that make me angry.

1 - I am saddened when people do not respect authority and break rules

Thinking about this, I have decided that I have so much fun, but I need to work again on setting a good example at the appropriate times. I compromise far too often, and I do not want to continue down this road. Going forward, I will try my hardest to be an obedient follower.

2 - When people hold others down (limiting their true potential) in order to make a system easier to control, it gets under my skin.

Well, for one thing, I could stop doing it. Back when I first joined HYPE I started plugging people in where they would best be suited (I'll have to write a future post about that also) but eventually I started looking at people as their type and not them as a person. Once you get to that level, Myers Briggs is out the window, it's time to focus on the people, because they are so much more than percentages of 4 letters.

3 - People who don't hold true to their word frustrate me. (This bugs me more than it should...)

No, that doesn't bug me more than it should. That is such a good thing to be angered by. And you know what I can do? I can do two very great things:

•I can follow through. If I've said that I'll do something, I just need to push through and finish.

•I can watch my tongue very closely, so as to not make a promise I cannot keep.

Both of these things are so hard for me to do. So, so, so hard. But I can do it—but I do not plan on doing it by my strength alone.

4 - Seeing injustice done makes me very angry.

I can take a stand against injustice. If I see crap going down, I will come down hard on those who are dishing it out. I have been given the gift of influence, and I will use this for good. I hate seeing people hurt, and I hate it when bullies get away. If I have to fight against figurative bullies, if they walk away, it will be with a few figurative brusies. I refuse to stand by and watch my fellow man be hurt. I can't stop all injustice, but if I can put my foot down and protect some, I will.

In Conclusion
Yeah, I wish that things were different in a few different areas of my life, but I'm not going to let that hold me down. God has held my hand through this discovery, and I'm going to keep holding him close.

Love Is (1st Corinthians 13)

Hey people. I have been a little bit of a backsliding christian recently, you know skipping Bible reading and stuff. I know, I know, pretty serious.

But recently I've picked it back up, and I've had my eyes opened several times. Today was one of those times that didn't just open my eyes, but I got hit smack dab in the middle of the face with a hundred pounds of bricks. I have rarely felt more strongly His presence than I have today, and I felt pretty strongly about writing this. So, here goes...

I may speak in the languages of humans and of angels. But if I don't have love, I am a loud gong or a clashing cymbal.
I may have the gift to speak what God has revealed, and I may understand all mysteries and have all knowledge. I may even have enough faith to move mountains. But if I don't have love, I am nothing.
I may even give away all that I have and give up my body to be burned. But if I don't have love, none of these things will help me.
Love is patient. Love is kind. Love isn't jealous. It doesn't sing its own praises. It isn't arrogant.
It isn't rude. It doesn't think about itself. It isn't irritable. It doesn't keep track of wrongs.
It isn't happy when injustice is done, but it is happy with the truth.
Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up.
Love never comes to an end. There is the gift of speaking what God has revealed, but it will no longer be used. There is the gift of speaking in other languages, but it will stop by itself. There is the gift of knowledge, but it will no longer be used.
But when what is complete comes, then what is incomplete will no longer be used.
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, thought like a child, and reasoned like a child. When I became an adult, I no longer used childish ways.
Now we see a blurred image in a mirror. Then we will see very clearly. Now my knowledge is incomplete. Then I will have complete knowledge as God has complete knowledge of me.
So these three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the best one of these is love.

Now, if you are anything like me, you've read this many times. Maybe even a hundred. Each time that I've read it, I've thought about how I treat my parents, how I treat my family, and how I treat Larissa. I would filter the ones that I didn't do as well, and then just praise myself for the ones I did do correctly. While this may have created quite the positive attitude, it did not help teach me anything.

I realized after reading it just now, that I have always ALWAYS divided that up into two separate parts, utilizing the first, and just writing off the second. Well, I am going to try to not do that any longer, because I have missed something so essential and important for way too long!

Pretty much any way you look at it, I have been a complete and utter jerk to my ex-girlfriend. Okay, that's if you look at it the nice way. If I was honest, I would be using a few different words than I am right now, but you get the basic idea. I have been a pretty despicable person, I know that I have. I can always justify how I behave, but when I read this today it hit me like a hundred pounds of bricks, straight in the face, and there is no denying it any longer. I cannot and will not be ok with the status quo—to quote Dr. Horrible, “the status is not quo.”

Let's take a step back
"Alright, so, big deal Joshua", you may be saying. "You have grown into a big boy, congrats."

Nope, stop right there. That's how I looked at life, but I will not any more. Each sermon has something new that I can learn. Each time a person speaks, it's not just white noise, it's important!

Break it Down
Verses 1-3

"I may speak in the languages of humans and of angels. But if I don't have love, I am a loud gong or a clashing cymbal. I may have the gift to speak what God has revealed, and I may understand all mysteries and have all knowledge. I may even have enough faith to move mountains. But if I don't have love, I am nothing. I may even give away all that I have and give up my body to be burned. But if I don't have love, none of these things will help me. "

Ok, simple enough, right? Nope. Go read it again. Even if you have faith to move mountains, speak non-human languages, give everything that you have and die for your beliefs, it's still counted as nothing. We are a people who are commanded to love. To love without holding back

Verses 4-7

"Love is patient. Love is kind. Love isn't jealous. It doesn't sing its own praises. It isn't arrogant.
It isn't rude. It doesn't think about itself. It isn't irritable. It doesn't keep track of wrongs.
It isn't happy when injustice is done, but it is happy with the truth.
Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up."

Read that again. It's not too hard to think of the last time that you were kind or patient—it's easy to find the good in us. Let's instead think about someone who has been bugging you for awhile. Think about your little brother, a friend, a parent, an ex girlfriend, an annoying professor or anyone that has been getting under your skin.

For the curious, each and every single one of those is relevant to me, so do not think that I'm just spewing words, I mean what I say because I'm learning how big of a deal it it. IT IS A HUGE DEAL! Do not just let this slide.

Anyway. Think about that person from before, and ask yourself nine questions:

1. When was the last time you were jealous of or for that person? 
2. When was the last time you were rude to that person? 
3. Irritable? 
4. Have you really, truly forgiven that person? 
5. Have you been kind to that person recently?
6. Have you ever made a decision just to hurt them?
7. Have you twisted their words?
8. Do you hope for that person's best? 
9. Are you committed to not giving up on that person?

If you are anything at all like me, you will find that you have not done very well, on several of these accounts. I know that I haven't. But there is a God who loves you and who has forgiven you, and that is a relief.

Verses 8-10

"Love never comes to an end. There is the gift of speaking what God has revealed, but it will no longer be used. There is the gift of speaking in other languages, but it will stop by itself. There is the gift of knowledge, but it will no longer be used. But when what is complete comes, then what is incomplete will no longer be used."

Lots of interesting stuff in here. If we stop loving a person, did we even love them in the first place? The rest seems straightforward (at least in my interpretation) and appears to reference a love more potent and complete than we can even know or experience now.

Verses 11-12

"When I was a child, I spoke like a child, thought like a child, and reasoned like a child. When I became an adult, I no longer used childish ways. Now we see a blurred image in a mirror. Then we will see very clearly. Now my knowledge is incomplete. Then I will have complete knowledge as God has complete knowledge of me."

When I was a child. This was not too long ago. I don't consider myself all grown up or mature by any means, but there is no denying that I have been changed. I have felt like I hit near rock bottom before I finally saw what it meant to love. I learned too late, and I hurt lots of people as I've gone through my life. I wish that I could undo the harm that I have done, but I can be comforted by knowing that my God has forgiven me.

I see my life as a blurred image in a mirror. I look and I see fog, but I will be able to look back someday and see this clearly. I have no idea what God is going to make out of this mess that I've made, but I know that he will make this into something that is not dark or scary, but instead a way that I can reach people. God will show us the plan later, when he points to our life and he says "I did that, because of XReason." This will be so comforting, even though it isn't now, I can rest my life in his hands as he guides me through my life. Though it is not easy now, I have to trust that his plan is perfect, and that submission to him will be the greatest decision that I can make.

Verse 13

"So these three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the best one of these is love."

This is not a verse to be taken lightly. Faith is how we believe what we believe. Hope is involved in every aspect of how we live and what we want in life. But the bible says that love is the best. The greatest. I want to be able to love with the unshakable love that Paul described in this chapter.

Conclusion
I am broken, but not hopelessly. I am a mess, but not a failure. I am a child of the king. I am someone that will learn to pick up the pieces and move on. I will learn to love.

God has forgiven me for my wrongs. I have a lot of people that I need to make up with, but I am committed to living a life for the glory of God. I no longer consider my life mine, but just another way to glorify my savior.

Praise his name, the savior of screwed up people!

Board Games for Boring Days (2)

Hey Yo!

Back in January I made this post about board games called Board Games for Boring Days. Though yesterday wasn't boring per se, I did not enjoy a minute of the video games I played, and I was all over the place emotionally, but that's for a different post (haha, or not.)

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BANG!

Let me just start by saying that BANG! is a weird game. Now, in this case, weird is definitely not bad. It is made by the foreign company "daVinci Editrice" to be along the lines of a Spaghetti Western film, complete with guns, Wells Fargo Wagons, and drinking beer to recover health.

Yes, the game is ridiculous. Each player is assigned a character and a role, and they have to play the game from there fulfilling that role. The four roles in BANG! are: Sheriff, Deputy(s), Outlaws, and Renegade. - I can't help it, I love that song. ;)

Pros:

•Lots of good strategy elements.

•Western theme makes for some super fun moments.
•Pretty balanced.
•"I'm your favorite deputy!"

Cons:
•Poor name choice often results in questionable character choices.
•A bit of takedown required
•Super steep learning curve
•Despite being mostly balanced, a few of the characters feel really powerful.
•Renegade rarely wins

Final thoughts:
YEEHAW! It's crazy zany fun, that has plenty of strategy involved.

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Careers

Ok, this is in no way a new game AT ALL. This game was originally made in the 60's and has been updated since. Imagine a lot of Life, mixed with some monopoly elements. You roam around the board, and will occasionally have problems running into unemployment or going to the hospital. Unlike Monopoly, you aren't forever up a creek if you don't get the right roll the first few times around.

The big difference in this game is that everyone has their own career goals. There are three different commodities in this game -- Money, Happiness and Fame. The goal is to fulfill your own personal combination of the three, and as long as they all add up to 60, you are in the clear. So, you might decide to go for 25 Fame, 15 Thousand Dollars, and 20 Happiness. As soon as one person accomplishes their goal, they reveal that the game is over. There is quite a bit of strategy regarding how the goal is accomplished, and few games look similar to a previous game.

Pros:

•Easy to get out and play

•Good balance between fun and thinking (I'm an ESTP, so take that for what's its worth. ;) )
•Overall well designed and thought through game.
•Not forever up a creek without a paddle if you get bad rolls the first few times around.

Cons:
•I always lose to Jon
•Doesn't offer as much flexibility in the game
•Due to the lack of flexibility, there is somewhat of a steep learning curve

Final thoughts:
Well balanced game with less of a luck factor than some other popular games.
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Personal Preference


Personal Preference is a Canadian game made originally made by "Playtoy Industries"

La préférence personnelle est un jeu canadien fait à l'origine par "Playtoy Industries"

Ok, ok, that was a lame joke, I know. :P
This game was made back in the 80's and could be categorized as a "get to know you" type game. Competition is light, and there is very little strategy involved.

The game has players going around a board, and the first one to reach the end wins. There are two ways to get points: by rolling the die on your turn, and by guessing a person's preference correctly. There are four different preference categories; Activities, Food, Potpourri and People. The player will land on one of those squares and will proceed to organize the cards in their hand to match their own personal preference and then everyone takes guesses by placing their number tokens on the appropriate corners of the board. If you are super sure of your guess, you can even place the number in the middle, giving you DOUBLE the movement forward if you're right, but one step back if you are wrong.

Pros:

•Good get to know you better game

•Just fun in general
•Fun combinations (i.e. Shatner v.s. ham)
•Rewards observing a person's interests in various activities.

Cons:
•Not fun if you don't know everyone
•The game is dated, and a lot of the famous people may not be known to younger players.
•Cleanup from the last turn happens all the time, and can make the game feel a little slow

Final thoughts:
Great game that puts relationships, individual tastes and fun in the spotlight.
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So, yeah.
Hopefully that gave you a little bit of an insight into the games that I like, and maybe it's even convinced you to buy more games. Whatever your final verdict, make sure to remember this one thing:

PLAYING GAMES IS FUN!!!

The Chameleon

Back Story
On July 7th, I wrote a poem. It was sorta a weird time for me, sorta like the storm before the wreck. My inner life was in turmoil but I was making the best of it. Well, I wrote a while, and this is what came out of it.

"'Fitting into other’s lives,

barely living my own.

fulfilling their wishes

to fill an endless hole.

Then, I found you

I tried to fit you where only God should go

yet, only Christ can fill

Only Jesus can make me whole.

I am a chameleon.'

I don't want to want to know God. And I don't want to drain happiness from other people. I need to take this life God has given me, and love it. I need to get happiness vertically, not horizontally."

It was a dark time for me, but I liked this. I don't quite know what draws me to it, but I am drawn to it none-the-less. So, I hope that you have gotten something out of it.

-Joshua

The Various States of a Relationship

THE GRAND INTRO
Through my very extensive experience with relationships (Note, sarcasm) I have noticed a thing or two about the health of a relationship. I've seen there be a few different stages, and I'm going to go over them in a slightly comical way. So, without further ado...

THE GRAND LIST

ICE CREAM

Pretty healthy

Some Fights

More Fights

ICE CREAM

Now, I'll go over each one a little bit more in depth.

ICE CREAM

You guessed it, ice cream! Due to ice cream's most excellent taste, it's something that is desirable especially during a good time in a relationship. The choices for ice cream are many, and the combinations are near limitless. It is for an all around good time, maybe while playing board games, maybe while watching a movie, or MAYBE EVEN WRITING A BLOG POST. Maybe.

Pretty Healthy

Ok, you aren't living in some paradise land where bacon flows off of the mountain, canned peas actually taste good and chocolate jumps out of the ground. There are rules to life, and one of them is this:

Eating food makes you fat, unless you exercise (Often this ends up being a waste of time) -Just kidding!

So you realize, sure this makes me happy. But being not fat also makes me happy, so out with the ice cream! (Except on special occasions)

Some Fights

Uh-oh. Stuff is going down, you've got some stress in your life. You may be randomly punching pillows, or allowing people to know your secret identity. Be careful of what you say, and never let the sun go down on your anger... or else...

More Fights

Ahh crap. Now you've done it. You life is now what some may call an "utterly confusing place". You may even start peeling potatoes due to anger, or you may start sucking on ice cubes for no logical reason. It is possible that someone in this state may even play solitaire computer games in order to calm the brain.

ICE CREAM

You've hit the bottom. The only way up is a long ladder, but at least you have your comfort. Screw being not fat, it's more important that you survive. No matter what you do, get help. You need it, and others hate to see you eat all of the ice cream.

Conclusion

Well, that was... interesting. A little delve into Josh, hopefully you aren't scared away yet. But if you are, I suppose you aren't even reading this so it doesn't matter what I say.

Goodbye

-Joshua

Joshua's Somewhat Dark (but Overall Positive) Musings

Hey everyone. I've had some stuff going through my brain these last few days, and for some stupid freaking reason, it's been just about as hard as the last few months which should just not be. >.<

That's probably due to the fact that I have just been letting go of whatever anger I've held onto and am now just left with questions of "what if". Yeah, it's kinda sad. ;)

Picture it like this:
I'm wearing a t-shirt, damp with sweat, as I stumble out of this maze like cave. The sun is up, and coming down on me, but it's really cold. It's winter. Though my favorite season may have been spent inside of a cave, deep in my emotions, I have gained much knowledge about myself that I would never have had otherwise. As I step forward, the sweat becomes very cold against my body. I move onward, because I know in my heart that all I need to do is trudge through some snow before I reach the cabin. If I stay where I am, I'll freeze. But with God's help, I move forward. With his guidance I take each step. Slowly, I'll move towards a brighter future, but I'm not going to force it; not in this weather.

That's where I'm at. I'm so broken, but I don't really care at this point. I'm just a tool in God's toolbox, and if he can make use of a broken hammer better than he can one that is in perfect shape, so be it.

Speaking of Hammer...
I have had this song stuck in my head for the past few days, and it is powerful.

I recommend that you give it a listen. It's helped me a lot recently, and it's just plain awesome also. I really would love to be in this musical someday. :)

Bringing it back...
So, yeah, that's where I'm at right now. I'm digging deep into who God wants me to be, and less of who I want me to be. Some people may say "if your dream is within reason, just go for it. You can accomplish pretty much anything."

Well, that's great for people who have dreams and aspirations.

But I don't want to have my future right now. I tried doing life the Josh way, (where I dated the heck out of a beautiful girl who loves God, got married and had kids) and that didn't work out so well. So I'm ready to try things the God way, because that's infinitely better.

In addition, I've started going by Joshua. I can be silly, I can be serious, and saying that Josh is silly and Joshua is serious is a huge limitation, so bye bye. I'm becoming more onion like (No, no, no, I'm not making people cry on purpose) in that I have layers of Joshua, and only my closest of friends see the middlemost parts.

One Last Thing
Be careful of what you do and what you say. I'm not an expert at doing life, but I do know now that if you are ever angry, freaking sleep on it first. Sometimes, stuff just isn't a big deal, and I've gotten better at letting stuff go.

So, I leave you with one final thought that has been wandering around in my mind for the past couple of days:

Hurt people hurt people

-Joshua

Possible New Favorite Bible Verse

"When he falls, he will not be thrown down headfirst because the LORD holds on to his hand."
- Psalm 37:24 (GOD's Word Translation) (On righteous men)

There are so many reasons why I love this verse. So many individual parts that when put together make something that's so great.

"When he falls..."

Notice how the verse doesn't say "IF he falls". We will all fall, and that's a fact. There will be times of absolute un-fun-ness.

"...he will not be thrown down headfirst..."

Falling headfirst is one of the most terrifying things. When you fall headfirst, you have nothing to stop you from injuring yourself. I know because I've flipped off of a swing by accident, and though I prevented my face from getting smashed, I dislocated my arm.

Falling feet first, on the other hand, is something completely different. A lesson I distinctly remember from being very young was learning how to absorb the impact of a jump from big fall using my knees. I have fond memories of dropping a good 14 feet from my fort in the back yard. I took all of the shock in my knees, just stood up and walked away. Eventually, however, we had to stop because it started to take a toll on us.

"...because the LORD holds on to his hand."

The LORD of the universe holds on to my hand?

Back to my fort in the back yard. We could have still gone out there and jumped if there had been a rope there. If we had support outside of ourselves we could have jumped. On our own, doing that was going to be impossible after awhile, because I was doing everything without God's help. I can imagine Him there, holding out his hand, just waiting for me to take it on the way down. Each time I did not.

So, this means a lot... why?

I say that out of this verse I have learned three important things:

1 - I will fall

2 - I can absorb that shock with my knees, because I'm not falling headfirst

3 - God is holding my hand throughout this.

No matter what happens, I can hold on to this, and I can hold on to his hand. How mighty and powerful our LORD is! Praise his name!

Some things that I've learned

I've learned some stuff. A lot of stuff actually, quite recently. Ever since I broke up with my girlfriend, my joy has been...wonky, to say the least. I have grown though, and I have here 25 things that I think everyone should remember. Every single thing I either learned in the relationship, or after the relationship. I may be broken now, but I'm on the mend. I may be down for now, but I'm not out. God has a plan for my life.

Anyways, here we go!

1. Don't be afraid to hurt people with gracefully told truth.
2. The health of a friendship outweighs the comfort of the now.
3. You can't judge your life based on your timing, you have to do it based on God's.
4. Nobody is perfect. If you hold someone in high regards, it's only a matter of time before you discover that they are just as imperfect as everyone else.
5. Don't expect much of others. The only one that you can expect everything from is Jesus. All others fail.
6. If you see someone doing what they shouldn't, consider it a prayer request.
7. No matter what the world says, every single person has been beautifully and wonderfully made.
8. If you can't see that, you are not looking hard enough.
9. Do not be afraid to feel.
10. Anger is fine if justified.
11. Don't hold on to that anger, forgive, and move on.
12. Be aware of what your emotions tell you in the heat of a moment - and know that they are biased.
13. Listen to what your heart tells you, then go talk to a mentor, a friend, and another mentor about it.
14. Get all of the facts straight before you argue. An emotional argument is not very convincing.
15. Keep water near you and drink it.
16. Ask yourself, "am I really hungry?" before you eat.
17. A little child will cry for awhile, but will eventually walk away from a broken toy. Be that child with life. Pray for God to fix things, but don't be afraid to make the hard choice.
18. The buck stops with you. On everything.
19. Find your limits of success, and push those every chance you get.
20. Write out a list of strengths and praise God for those.
21. Write out a list of weaknesses and pray to God for help.
22. Remember to consider your trials "pure joy" as Paul did.
23. You are a person of great worth.
24. You are someone that God cares about.
25. You are much more than a label, or past hurt, or circumstance. You are a child of the King. Nothing can change that.

Alright, there you have it. Not the most positive thing that I've written, but I am doing better now that I have been recently. I still feel like almost anything could send me spiraling out of control, but I have a better rein on things now. Still not sure about watching Toy Story 2 again though. ;)

My response to the article 23 Signs You're Secretly An Introvert

NOTE: This is not an introduction to MBTI.

I just got around to reading this article yesterday, and while some of it is very true, many of the parts just seemed a little off to me. I'm not technically an expert, but I do think that I know quite a bit about the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. So, I'm going to put my own spin on things, seeing as how I disagree with some of it. You can read along by following the link.

1-5:
Dead on. I love each and every description. It's great. Accurate as far as I can tell.

6:
I think that this honestly could be related more to the difference between J's and P's more so than I's and E's.
J's want control of their environment, P's want to be a part of it. (J's will often have clean desks/rooms, for a P, this might feel foreign.)

7-8:
Also dead on, as far as I've seen.

9:
I do this also, so I don't know why they're saying it's an introvert thing.

10-11:
Both interesting and correct, far as I've seen.

12:
This part says that introverts would rather be an expert at a few things before trying EVERYTHING.
From what I've seen, I'd actually say this is a difference between iNtuitives and Sensors.
iNtuitives tend to look to the future and to possibilities, S's tend to look to the past and to what's grounded in reality.

13:
Interesting. This is probably true of non-theater kids, but I'll let this one by.

14:
Screening calls? Eh, I've done that, but that's because if you look at the function stack, I'm an introverted thinker (Ti), which means that I prefer to process internally, and then bring them out. If someone is an extroverted thinker/feeler (J), they probably wouldn't have as much of a problem with this. Just my thoughts.

15:
While introverts are silently taking in more than extroverts, what the introverts take in will be determined by whether they are an N or an S. If they are an S, yes, that statement is dead on, they will be noticing facts and details. If they are an N, they will be quietly noticing the connection between things.

16-17:
Both interesting. I did not know either. Very cool.

18:
Old soul?
Hmm, I think that this would depend on whether or not they introvert/extrovert their feelings, and whether or not they are an N (noticing connections and so forth.) This whole part seems very subjective.

19:
Interesting, I totally get a high from my surroundings if I'm with a lot of people. Just ask anyone that's spent an extensive amount of time with me.

20:
Sigh. Another N/S difference. It says it in the book.

21-23:
Correctumondo. (Yay, three in a row!)


So, as you can see, I take issue with quite a few things in here. And my conclusion is that trying to look at just one set of letters without the others is a serious mistake.


Nerd rant = = Over

My Eagle Project (5)

Well, a small update. My project is, done, now all that I have to do is write up the report, and my project is in the bag.

It's only like, over 20 pages. *Hides in corner, eating curds and whey.*

Love Languages

So, chances are you've heard of "The 5 Love Languages" from Gary Chapman. This is a book that was written in 1995 for married couples to use in connecting deeper with each other. Two years later, he wrote one for connecting with children. Since then, "The 5 Love Languages" has become more widespread as a theory, and less so of a book. I myself haven't read the book yet, but I'd heard of the love languages a while ago.

First, let me break down the love languages (If you're already familiar with them, feel free to scroll to the little pretty lines.)

Acts of Service:
People with this love language will feel loved the most when people offer their hand in doing work. This could be yard work, chores, or even in the workplace. These people will not feel loved if people forget to finish work they said they'd do, or if special people in their life don't take the time to do something for them.

Physical Touch:
You know that one guy that always goes around giving high fives? Or that girl that always seems to be hugging people? Or a a reversal of the two? They probably have the love language of touch, and they love it. Sometimes, they may only like it from the close people around them, and sometimes they love it from everybody. This love language takes a while to find the individual's preference, but taking the time to find this out can really help make that person feel loved and secure.

Quality Time:
Quality time people love being around others. 1 on 1, a group setting, it doesn't matter. They tend to like it when people notice them and take the time to get to know them on a more personal level. Quality timers like it when others carve out a whole day just to spend time with me, and it feels great to have people pop in unexpectedly just to visit. If others around them forget to spend time with them, or keep looking away/don't pay attention, they may feel quite unloved.

Receiving Gifts:
This is actually my lowest, and hardest for me to understand, so I simply quote Gary Chapman's website:

"Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are heartfelt symbols to you of someone else’s love and affection for you."

Words of Affirmation:
People with the love language of words of affirmation like to be told how much they are appreciated and loved. Hearing the how much someone cares about you is important, but more so is hearing their reasoning. They love having people send them encouraging notes in times where they are down, and appreciate compliments. Telling someone with words of affirmation that they are beautiful or handsome can make their day. Forgetting speak kind words to these people can be more hurtful than you may realize.

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I've known about the love languages for a long while. For the longest time, I've known that my love language is quality time. The second has shifted several times, however, and it depends strongly on who I am thinking about when doing it.

I took the test back in October and I received the following results:

11 Quality Time
10 Words of Affirmation
5 Acts of Service
2 Physical Touch
2 Receiving Gifts

I took it again 6 months later. I took it twice, one thinking about four close friends (Larissa, and three others), and the other just thinking about Larissa. Below is listed the time where I took it thinking of those four close friends:


12 Quality Time
8 Words of Affirmation
5 Acts of Service
4 Physical Touch
1 Receiving Gifts

You might notice that this remains almost the same as before. Touch and Quality time have taken some from Words and Gifts, but for the most part it's the same general idea. But when I took the test only thinking about Larissa, I had some very different results:

9 Physical Touch
9 Quality Time
8 Words of Affirmation
4 Receiving Gifts
0 Acts of Service


So, as you can see, my preferences change on who the administrator is. I found this very interesting and enlightening. Hopefully this provided more of an insight on who I am, and you enjoyed reading about this.

Peace out!

:UPDATE:
[This post is no longer accurate, as far as the exact numbers go... I guess you might as well call me Joshua the ever-changing at this point. =P

Here's a more updated post, with accurate information regarding my languages.]

Thinkings (2)

Every once in a while, I get these times where I wonder: "How much am I really loved? Do the people around me actually love me, or love what I bring to the family, the friendship, etc.?"

Well, I've had that feeling for the past week or so.

But that started to change on Friday. My dad said that he regretted making me go to camporee, and if he could redo it, he would let me stay at home, and go watch Little Women so I could be there for Larissa. Then, I asked Michael if he could take me back early so I could see the Saturday show. His want to help me go see it was amazing to me.

Then on Saturday, we left Camporee early so I could go. So early in fact that I was able to usher, and get in for free. Afterwards, I got to suprise Larissa with my attendence. But others were also really happy to see me, specifically the Peter kids.

Once I got home, I starting thinking about this. Then, I felt God tell me: "My son, you got there early because of me, you didn't have any traffic. Everything that just 'worked out' was done by Me. If you don't know My love for you, look around, and see all the people that I have placed in your life, that love you."

When I realized this, I almost collasped because of how overwhelmed I was. I am very blessed. Larissa, Austin, Grant, Michael, you are the best.

Praise God, the giver of good things!

My Eagle Project (4)

Something that I forgot to mention, is that in order for the project to start, I need to get the Project Proposal Approved. Well, now it is. I now have what I need to officially kick the project into high gear. Stuff is going to start happening, now. Below is my timeline for all of you to see.

You should notice four things immediately.

•I am very organized
•That's not Excel. (It's LibreOffice, because Microsoft charges WAY too much.)
•Fliers refers to planes, and I'm pretty sure that flyers is correct.
•Cell Number 21 is highlighted. I have no good explanation for this.

You may have also noticed that everything is quickly approaching. And you would be right. Well, here it goes!

:EDIT:
I'm not actually doing the video until I get supporters, so some of these dates are now incorrect.
Well, turns out my family is moving on the 11th of May. Looks like the pickup date will be 5/25 instead. That gives me more time to promote, so whoopie!

My Eagle Project (3)

Wow, it's been awhile.

A lot of stuff has happened recently on the project. After a month of having conversations with my project coach, having conversations with Portland Rescue Mission and working on my Eagle Project Proposal, I finally have everything nailed down.

Starting on the 20th of April, I'm going to be doing a Blanket/Coat/Sock/Men's Clothes/Hygiene Items drive for Portland Rescue Mission. I will be putting up boxes in various locations, and speaking at Churches in order to gain support for the project.

I do have a small list of materials that I have to get first. Below is said list:

•Big boxes
•Butcher Paper (Brown Wrapping Paper, essentially)
•Tape

Also, I need some human support. (Yes, Homo-Sapiens usually do assist with this)
I will have a post coming out shortly about way that others can help.

But, that's all for now! Peace Out!

My Eagle Project (2)

Well, the person got back to me the other day. It turned out that Mr. Miller wasn't actually the receiver of the email, so I'm sure that the email was just forwarded to the appropriate person. The person that responded kinda sent a "please fill this out" email, which isn't enough to meet the requirements. So, I sent an email back, which may or may not be well received. It was worded probably more frankly than was needed, but at least I did it.

Below is my response:

Thank you for getting back to me!
I apologize for not being clear in my first email. I don't think that I gave enough information about my thoughts on the project. While I very much appreciate your help by providing the pdf document, and asking me to pick a more concentrated goal, the requirement for the Eagle Project states that the project has to not have any previous work done on it.

Which means, I cannot take an existing project, and complete it. In essence, this is what I would be doing, if I just gathered clothes or hygiene items and filled out a form.

Eagle projects are rarely just thrown together, many require months of planning.

As such, I do not think that it's necessary to limit the project to just socks/new underwear, hygiene items OR warm clothing. I have a lot of people that could potentially be involved, and I would like to impact Portland Rescue Mission in the greatest way possible. If canned food isn't a great need right now, then I could do a drive for the other aforementioned items, but I do not want to pick a small amount. 

I would really like to setup a meeting time, where we could talk this over in greater detail. Once again, please let me know which days/ times work best for you.

Thank you for understanding.

Well, the important part is that it was sent. Hopefully it's interpreted correctly.


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:Edit:
The misinterpretation was actually due to my silliness. Got it all sorted out now. The person just wanted me to make sure that I went through the proper channels, and filled out all the information that they need before I got started.

Too Political for Facebook

"The fact that we are here today to debate raising America’s debt limit is a sign of leadership failure. It is a Sign that the US Government cannot pay its own bills. It is a sign that we now depend on ongoing financial assistance from foreign countries to finance our Government’s reckless fiscal policies. ...Increasing America’s debt weakens us domestically and internationally. Leadership means that 'the buck stops here'. Instead, Washington is shifting the burden of bad choices today onto the backs of our children and Grandchildren. America has a debt problem and a failure of leadership. Americans deserve better."

-Obama, in 2006

Why oh why? Thank you, Mr. President. So much. Cogratz America, we have elected a flip flop.

My Eagle Project (1)

Well, the ball has started rolling. I think I've got a pretty decent idea for an Eagle Project. Totally possible, I think, and shouldn't need too many safety precautions.

I'm looking at doing a food and clothes drive for Portland Rescue Mission. This project would hopefully get a bunch of food, and clothes. I have yet to determine a weight goal, and I'll be talking a bit with my parents about that today. Also, today I'll be calling Portland Rescue Mission to hear what they think about it.

Seeing the info on the website, and pictures really got my heart into the project. I wasn't too sure that this was what I wanted to do, but now, I'm more certain.

Well, I've got some stuff to go do, but I'm doing it with a new energy. I've got a target, I just have to work on my aim.

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:Edit 1:
More information can be found here.

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:Edit 2:

I sent the email!

"Dear Mr. Miller

My name is Josh Carter, and I'm a 17 year old Life Scout from BSA Troop 49. As you may know, one of the requirements for Eagle is to plan, organize, and lead a service project. After thinking over different options, I decided that I would help Portland Rescue Mission by doing a large food and clothes drive. After looking at your website, I decided that adding bibles to the list would also be a great idea, and it's something that my Christian Troop could really get behind.

I would like to find a time where we could talk over a plan. What kinds of food do you need, what types of clothes are needed, etc.

If you would, send a reply including a few times when you are free to talk over this, so that I can talk with my parents and figure out a meeting time. We can meet in person, or over the phone depending on what you'd like.

I look forward to working with you!

-Josh Carter"

Josh's thinkings (1)

How do I know that there is a God that loves me?

Because He has surrounded me with people that love me. I'm so blessed to have the friends that I do.

Forgiveness

A while ago I made a post about a Pink Floyd song. Towards the end I talk about forgiveness. A lot of that was taken from the book, The Bondage Breaker. Recently, I have been reading the book again. In the section that I'm reading, it talks about forgiveness. I found what the author said to be very true and very informative. I figure, I might as well share it on my blog.

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"Most of the ground that Satan gains in the lives of Christians is due to unforgiveness. We are warned to forgive others so that Satan cannot take advantage of us (2 Corinthians 2:10, 11). God requires us to forgive others from our hearts or He will turn us over to the tormentors (Matthew 18:34, 35). Why is forgiveness so critical to our freedom? Because of the cross. God didn't give us what we deserve; He gave us what we needed according to His mercy. We are to be merciful just as our heavenly Father is merciful (Luke 6:36). We are to forgive as we have been forgiven (Ephesians 4:31, 32).

Forgiveness is not forgetting. People who try to forget find that they cannot. God says He will "remember no more" our sins (Hebrews 10:17), but god, being omniscient, cannot forget. "Remember no more" means that God will never use the past against us (Psalm 103:12). Forgetting may be a result of forgiveness, but it is never the means of forgiveness. When we bring up the past against others, we haven't forgiven them.

Forgiveness is a choice, a crisis of the will. Since God requires us to forgive, it is something we can do. (He would never require us to do something we cannot do.) But forgiveness is difficult for us because it pulls against our concept of justice. We want revenge for offenses suffered. But we are told never to take our own revenge (Romans 12:19). "Why should I let them off the hook?" You let them off your hook, but they are never off God's hook. He will deal with them fairly - something we cannot do.

If you don't let offenders off your hook, you are hooked to them and the past, and that just means continued pain for you. Stop the pain; let it go. You don't forgive someone merely for their sake; you do it for your sake so you can be free. Your need to forgive isn't an issue between you and the offender; it's between you and God.

Forgiveness is agreeing to live with the consequences of another person's sin. Forgiveness is costly; we pay the price of the evil we forgive. Yet, you're going to live with those consequences whether you want to or not; you only choice is whether you will do so in the bitterness of unforgiveness or the freedom of forgiveness. That's how Jesus forgave you-He took the consequences of your sin upon Himself. All true true forgiveness is substitutional, because no one really forgives without bearing the penalty of the other person's sin.

Why then do we forgive? Because Christ forgave us. God the Father 'made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf that we might become the righteousness of God in Him' (2 Corinthians 5:21). Where is the justice? The cross makes forgiveness legally and morally right: 'For the death that he died, He died to sin, once for all' (Romans 6:10).

How do you forgive from the heart? First, you acknowledge the hurt and the hate. If your forgiveness doesn't visit the emotional core of your past, it will be incomplete. This is the great evangelical cover-up. Christians feel the pain of interpersonal offenses, but we won't acknowledge it. Let God bring the pain to the surface so He can deal with it. This is where the healing takes place. Ask God to bring to your mind those you need to forgive as you read the following prayer aloud:

'Dear heavenly Father, I thank You for the riches of Your kindness, forbearance, and patience, knowing that Your kindness has led me to repentance (Romans 2:4). I confess that I have not extended that same patience and kindness toward others who have offended me, but instead I have harbored bitterness and resentment. I pray that during this time of self-examination You would bring to mind only those people that I have not forgiven in order that I may do so (Matthew 18:35). I also pray that if I have offended others You would bring to mind only those people from whom I need to seek forgiveness and the extent to which I need to seek it (Matthew 5:23,24). I ask this in the precious name of Jesus. Amen.'

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Whew, that's long. Hope that this provided a sufficient preview of the book. I highly recommend that you look into it, just make sure that you have the time. It is in no way a light read.

-Josh

First Corinthians 13 and it's Relevance on February 14

So many of my friends have been posting about Valentines Day or Singles Awareness day on Facebook. So, I thought that I'd point out some not very well known things about Valentines Day.

First, the origin of Saint Valentines Day has a slightly different meaning and back story than that of today, but hey, so do the rest of the holidays.

"When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death."1

So, that's why it's remembered? Well, that's dumb you say, how about we embrace how it's evolved? Let's just talk about love instead of Saint Valentine. 

Fine, let's talk about love.

"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."2

There, that's what I call love. Love, can be felt, but it's also a choice. Despite the hurt that some people cause us, we can choose to love them. It's not all about the feelings, it's also about the thoughts. For instance, it's no great accomplishment if you love someone who is kind to you. But loving those who persecute you, that is love.

Anyways, hopefully this has let you get some insight into Josh. I will be celebrating today, but keeping Paul's words in mind is very important, midst all of the silliness of today.

-Josh

1: http://www.history.com/topics/valentines-day
2: 1st Corinthians 13, The Bible

Josh's Dating Advice

Well, it's February. And you look like you could all use some advice...



 Well, here it is.



Don't trust Carbon Dating. It has many flaws in it, simply because we don't know how much Carbon was in the item to begin with. You can read more here.

Steam Powered Giraffe

So, if you are friends with me on Facebook, you will know that I'm quite a big fan of the band called Steam Powered Giraffe. This band is a not just a band though, they are a musical pantomime group. They dress themselves up like robots, and then perform as if they were.

The band can be classified as a Steampunk, funk/soft rock band. While the CDs are fun, the band really shines when Pantomiming as their three robot characters. The three robots crack jokes on stage, and might do some improvisational dialogue every once in a while.

Steam Powered Giraffe still hasn't become popular yet, so if being a hipster is important to you, then go ahead and feel free to like them.

They have done a few videos, and they can be viewed on Youtube. I have two of the videos below for your viewing pleasure.

I'll be going up to Everett to see them in April. That is going to be fun in and of itself, because I'll be going with some of my good friends. (You know who you are. ;) )