When you greet someone, you usually have something like this happen:
Hi, hey there [insert name!]and then you always ask one of three questions:
Hey [insert your name]
- How are you?
- What's up?
- How's things going?
And the response that we expect to each is "Good."
Even when I'm having a terrible time I'll still answer friends with "Good" because it's the social thing to do. You don't answer with your real answer, you fake it because that's what we do as a society. And I'm very much not cool with it for a couple of reasons
- People are either too callous to care
- Or just too uninterested to care
and so we fake caring by asking questions that have the same answer. It's kinda like being real with people, but with Zero commitment. You look good, the friendship looks fine, and everything works out great.
We as a culture don't take the time to realize that people that answer good are either good, okay, or very bad, hanging on to try to find a reason to live.
Problem = Clear, Solution?...
So, I have said why I have a problem with it, but I have yet to give a solution.
As a culture, I think that it's going to be hard to change how much we care. It's just the way that things are, with empathy being a tool used by a few and people telling you to shrug off whatever's bothering you being the tool used by most. Even though changing why we say something may be impossible as a people, we can still change what we say.
So, how about next time you greet someone, you use a different greeting, one that actually leads to depth:
- Hey [insert name here], it's good to see you! (Use if it's truth, avoid if it isn't. this can make some people's day, but they will know if you are lying through your teeth)
- Hello [insert name here], tell me about your day! (Use only if you actually care)
- Hi [insert name here], what has been happening in your life lately? (Use only if you actually care)
People, it isn't hard. You just have to care, and you have to invest. If you are okay going past people every day that are desperately hurting, content to be frustrated about some guy's parking job then you may want to rethink that. Life is ultimately very short, and could end at any moment, and so each minute that we have with people must be cherished. People are a gift, and ignoring them is a waste.
What's my bottom line then?
Want to care,
care
and say meaningful things.
